It is Sexual Harrassment Awareness Month.

By David Moreno

Photos by Unsplash

It is hard to believe that every nine minutes there is a woman being sexually assaulted by a man. Nearly two thirds of women will experience some sort of unwanted sexual interactions before the age of twenty-one. Your professor, classmate, or even your own family member could be a survivor and you may not be aware of it.

According to RAINN.org there are approximately one out six women in the United States have been the victim of an attempted or completed rape.  As a man who has sisters, friends, and a close inner circle-I find it quite terrifying that this could happen to them in the next sixty-eight seconds. That is all it takes for the next person to become a survivor of sexual assault or another victim of rape. April is known as Sexual Assault Awareness month, and it is only right that as a man who recently heard a disturbing story of sexual assault from one of his friends to spread awareness on this sensitive topic.

Countless women are hesitant to come forward and speak out on their experiences, the trauma haunts them for many years. In the aftermath of an assault, women tend to gravitate to the belief that the sexual assault was their fault. They experience feelings of anger, resentment, and embarrassment which may cause further psychological damage. According to recent studies by the Loyola University of Maryland, some of the most common feelings women experience after a sexual assault are depression, anxiety, and loss of all control. These situations become more complicated when there are individuals who blame the victim rather than hold the predator accountable. 

“In order to escape accountability for his crimes, the perpetrator does everything in his power to promote forgetting. If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure no one listens.” -Judith Lewis Herman

It is quite common for survivors to be blamed when these things happen, in different studies they concluded that most people blame the victim to avoid feeling any feelings of shame or guilt. Oftentimes, the predator tries to justify his actions by making the victim believe that they had given them their consent. Especially if they hear the victim blaming themselves, which happens frequently. Approximately, 93% of survivors blame themselves and tend to believe that the world should be fair. It sounds ridiculous, but that is the unfortunate reality so many of these women experience throughout their lives. This is not their fault but the predator’s fault, and perhaps the environment in which they were brought up instilled in them toxic masculinity or misogyny.  How outrageous is that? A woman who experienced something so traumatic as being sexually assaulted, is blaming herself for that. It should be the predator who should be feeling ashamed. But they rarely do, because according to the National Sexual Violence Center, rape is the most underreported crime in the United States of America, 63% of sexual assaults are not reported. Not to mention the fact that 8% of sexual assaults occur while at work, it’s horrendous to think there is the possibility there are witnesses to these situations. Perhaps parents need to teach their children from an early age that when something is not right, they need to speak up or immediately take action. 

Earlier this year, Evan Rachel Wood released a documentary on HBO tilted “Phoenix Rising,” where she dives into the trauma she experienced after being raped, tortured, and emotionally abused by her former partner Marylin Manson. In an interview with Trevor Noah, she mentioned that she was not ready to have this conversation with anyone because no one was prepared to hear her story. 

“It took sixteen years to get here and the first thing that I did when I got out was try to get away from it as possible. Try to forget it ever happened. You’re running. You’re trying to forget. And of course, it starts catching up with you,” Woods told Noah. 

She also mentioned that the trauma starts to show in different areas of her life, it propelled her to seek therapy which has helped tremendously to cope with the agony. Woods also mentioned she was never going to speak about what happened to her, she was planning to take this secret to the grave. It makes me wonder how many deceased women were raped or assaulted and never spoke to anyone about it. No woman should be afraid to speak up about their traumas, and while therapy is an exceptional resource to find comfort, I believe that women should talk among themselves to empower one another. As the Bible says in Proverbs 27:17 “As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.” If this applies to men, it could do the same for women, because one woman can sharpen a million women. Vulnerability is not an act of weakness but an act of courage and heroism; those are normally terms society uses to describe men as, but in reality, it’s women who exhibit tremendous courage and strength when they come forward. 

Therapy is one of the best sources available to many, but unfortunately in the United States mental health is not one of the first priorities. It should be available to everyone, no one knows what anyone is going through. Perhaps some people don’t have anyone to speak to because of the feelings of shame and guilt. Everyone should be more aware of these types of issues, especially men. I for one recently heard devastating stories from close friends and it made me realize how oblivious I was to this issue. I know for a fact that the chances I will experience something as traumatic as sexual assault are very low, but perhaps the lady in the coffee shop or my classmate might have experienced it the day before. Women should not live in fear of being sexually assaulted or raped, they have the right to be free of any harm. As for men, we should start acting like men, starting at home.

Father’s, educate your sons to respect women, respecting their boundaries and know that when a woman says no, it means no. Sex education should be taught more in schools and teaching young men the consequences of sexual harassment. Survivors must share their stories when they feel the time is right. Men- if you see another man harassing a woman do not be afraid to call him out, no one is going to judge you for doing what is right.  If you know anyone who is having trouble speaking about this issue, please share the Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673. It’s purpose is to end the stigma behind this issue and realize that there are millions of women across the world who are suffering in silence. Take one step at a time, there is no pain that lasts a hundred years or a body that can withstand it. Stay strong and be brave. 

David H. Moreno is a senior at Marymount University studying communication with emphasis in journalism.