Self Worth: A revolution to loving yourself.

By: Charlene McCallum

Photos: Pixabay

There is importance in learning to be ok with yourself. Picking yourself up when you fall down is the reality of life. That is possibly the only thing you can do when going through trials of life.  Provide for yourself, wipe your tears away and make yourself happy. Have people that are there for you, but learn to depend more on yourself.

What does it mean to love yourself? Does it mean dressing up? Doing your hair? Putting makeup on? Having a set workout routine? Adding value to your life can mean many things. The main thing people think about when they think of value is the meaning of self-worth. College students seem to think about this topic a lot due to the stress being brought on by the world.

“People have a real self and an ideal self,” and the question is “are those things lined up? Are you close to your ideal self? Are you not? Your real self is here, but your ideal self is way up here. That may cause you more angst and have more bearing on self-worth.

If you feel like your ideal self is in reach, but you’re not where you want to be, and you use that to kind of strive toward it, that’s a good process, a healthy process,” said Psychology Professor, Camille Buckner.

Self-worth is sense of one’s own value or worth as a person. You see many cases of self-worth in many aspects of society.  Self-worth is related to the term self-esteem, which determines the self-worth you have for yourself. Students have problems with figuring this out through many aspects of their lives, being it school, social life, and their personal lives.

Self-worth can also mean “realizing your strengths and weaknesses. I am a very confident person. And I call myself out on stuff that I’m bad at, because I think part of having self-confidence is being like, I’m not good at that. So I’m going to, be honest at the fact, I’m not good at that and work on my streams of being that much better,” said Fashion Design Student, Isabella Ricci.

“I know my strengths are really good and that I can excel in them. But why would I act like I’m good at other things, when I have no interest in being good at them. So I think being honest with how you are shows self-worth because then you can realize that you’re that much better in other aspects,” said Ricci.

Self-worth can also mean “putting yourself in a better place to be happy, or better place to have joy and achieving the type of person that you want to be,” said Fashion design student, M. Jachuku O.  Howard.

Students look for validation and comfort within oneself. They are willing to seek things out that will help them find their worth on this earth and the happiness they look to find within themselves.

Happiness is an important aspect of self-worth, and if a person cannot find happiness in themselves how would they find happiness throughout their lives. But the question is what does it really mean to be happy? That is the question college students should first ask them self before narrowing down what the term happiness and self-worth means.

Ricci describes happiness as “when you feel fulfilled within yourself, if you’re happy where you’re at, or even if you’re not where you want to be in life. Like you’re happy with the progress you’re at, and you know you’re on a journey to being better. You are surrounded by the right people. Or even if you’re not you’re just at peace with how you handle things.”

Happiness can also mean “being pleased with the things you’re doing, and to take things in a positive manner. Just choosing to do things you enjoy,” said Howard.

 There are many ways people interpret happiness.  It’s how one defines it. 

Self-worth isn’t something a person learns in a day. It can take months or even years. It can also be a difficult thing when you are not aware of the greatness you can achieve. You are viewing yourself in a way the world can help you become the best person you can be. That is where a point of self-awareness comes along.

“You can’t have self-worth without having self-awareness. “You have to be in tune with who you are,” said Buckner.

“A person can be aware of themselves and acknowledge what they have, but they don’t know what that worth is. People don’t know the abilities they have. They have to put themselves in positions to think of themselves in that way, so they can be that way,” said Howard.

“When you know your worth, you will not settle for less,” said Ricci.

Forrest Gump said, “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get,” or when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. This all comes to show that when life gets hard you make the best out of it and you never know what life will throw you, but you just have to handle it. “We have to accept negative things to be able to carry on,” said Buckner.

Also, even though “we have to accept what comes our way. You can change the result,” said Junior Biology- Pre Medicine student, Rica Vasquez. “You don’t have to just sit back and feel like there’s nothing you can do, because life goes on. And it depends on what you do with it, because that’s where life is and whatever you do with it, it is your own outcome,” said Vasquez. 

“My Motto is you have to be a dumb B**** in order to be a bad B****, like you have to, do some stupid stuff to figure out what you deserve. I look back and I get so mad at myself for the stuff I let fly. But it’s like, if I didn’t let that happen, I would not be anywhere near who I was today,” said Ricci.

“I look back at freshman through sophomore year, and I was having up to six anxiety attacks a day. I never went out. I let everything just make me feel nervous. And now I’m like, man, I’m realizing I’m more extroverted than introverted. I’m doing stuff I literally thought I would never be capable of doing, and it wasn’t even on my goals list because I just thought it was too farfetched. I wouldn’t have never thought that I would been able to get here,” said Ricci.

You have expectations for life but there is a reality that comes from it as well. These are things college students experience when dealing with the life after school, and very much in school now. But students also need a break from school and think about what may make life worthwhile and just worth living.

 Ricci explains “little moments” make life worthwhile. “When little moments add up, it’s great, and then even when you don’t have a lot you can think back to life when it was an abundance.”

To start off your journey of peace and self-worth, many people believe it is a good thing to set goals and just create ways of achieving your best life and your best self.

“People should try to make really small goals and just reach those and then continue to go with that. So I think to just have an overall change in the way that we see ourselves is the ultimate goal at the end of the day. But little things like I’m going to appreciate myself more today. I’m willing to choose things that give me power or put me into places that I need to be mentally to perform at my best, because sometimes we can’t do our best during certain situations, because we don’t put our mindset in the best place it needs to be, to be able to perform that task,” said Howard.

Another way to think about setting goals for self-worth is “number one, taking care of your mind, and then later, taking care of your body better.  I think the mind is like, okay you need to understand why you feel a certain way and how you want to grow from that, and then after you establish that you focus your energy into things that make you feel better, that can help you actually live that. Being more self-reflective, and figuring out what you do that’s toxic, and then handling it,” said Ricci.

A last goal a student should do to achieve some aspect of self-worth is of course “getting enough sleep, eating healthy food. If you’re in a work environment that tends toward overwork, and if people in your environment ask too much work of you and from you, it is best to set boundaries, and take time for yourself within that. Say no if you can, and then make sure that you’re not always going going going, and you know, you have time to just rest and relax and reflect,” said Buckner.

“The press on college students, with their studies in their classes, they never have time to breathe. And it’s really important.  I think a lot of it too, is with time management, because if you’re not managing your time, then you’ll always be kind of caught up in working to meet a deadline and task expanding to fill the time not taking the time that you need,” said Buckner.

It is important to take time out for yourself and create a self-care lifestyle as well. It doesn’t mean just doing facial masks or getting your nails done, but it also means doing some mental healing, which could mean reading, sleeping, singing, dancing, and relaxing. Know your worth and take time to realize that you are important and you deserve all the greatness that comes to you. Self-love and self-worth starts with you.

Just remember self-love Influencer Chamois Faith once said that, “there will come a time when you see the danger & futility of warping yourself to fit the wants and needs of others. Once you reach this realization, it will become easier to have your own wants and needs met. May you be happy, may you be healthy, may you be in alignment and at peace.”